CBT | What is Relationship OCD (Sometimes Called R-OCD)?

Dec 2

A stable relationship is a crucial part of having happiness and good health. Loving and strong connections with romantic partners, family, and friends can reduce your stress levels, boost your immunity, and make you feel like you belong. If you are in a romantic relationship, your connection with your partner must be built upon trust.

If you have uncertainty or doubt about your relationship, you may just need some support with communication or basic Counselling.

However, if you are struggling with repeat behaviour and patterns in your relationships similar to OCD you could be suffering from Relationship OCD or R-OCD. Learn more about this condition, how it could be affecting your life and relationships, and what you can do to help yourself.

What is Relationship OCD?

Relationship OCD is a mental illness involving compulsions (repeated behaviors) and obsessions (repeated thoughts) related to an individual’s relationship. This condition can make you feel uncertain about the love your partner has for you. The thought of being unloved will become repetitive and compulsive to the extent that you’ll start wondering whether your relationship will last.

The compulsion will make you change your behavior to get reassurance from your partner. This condition may lead to stress and anxiety. When suffering from R-OCD, the symptoms can get in the way of maintaining or even establishing a relationship. That explains why many R-OCD victims remain single and those already in relationships are always stressed.

What Are the Symptoms of R-OCD?

It’s good to know the symptoms and signs of R-OCD so that if you experience them, you can seek help before it’s too late.

For you to be diagnosed with Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, your compulsions and obsessions must negatively impact your normal activities. Your therapist or healthcare provider will have to rule out any other factors that might be causing your obsession and compulsions, including obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, depression, or anxiety disorder.

The symptoms of OCD include but are not limited to:

Repetitive thoughts

Relationship OCD will make you have recurring thoughts such as:

Are you the only one, or is your partner seeing someone better than you?
Are you good enough for your partner?
You never feel turned on when your partner kisses you. Could it be because you are in the wrong relationship?
Does your partner truly love you or are you just riding on the relationship without love?
If you notice another attractive person, does that mean you aren’t faithful to your partner?
You don’t think about your partner often enough. Does that mean you don’t love them?

These, and many other such thoughts, can become overwhelming and obsessive.

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Focusing on Your Partner’s Flaws

Relationship OCD may make you concentrate more on your partner’s flaws, especially those in their personality or appearance. You’ll find it hard to overlook the flaws even if they are not important. For example, you may feel that your partner isn’t the right one for you just because they chew food loudly.

Looking for Reassurance

You may find yourself asking for reassurance that you are in the right relationship. You may seek reassurance from family members or friends, repeatedly seeking their opinions. You may also keep asking your partner if everything is okay or ask them to say they love you.

Anxiety about Urges and Impulses in Your Relationship

R-OCD may make you have thoughts of cheating on or leaving your partner. Those thoughts may be strong even if you are not intending to do so. Sometimes, you may feel that you are not dedicating enough attention to your partner.

Comparing Your Partner to Other People

The moment you start obsessively comparing your partner’s character with those of other people, you might be a victim of R-OCD. You may feel that your partner should reduce their negative qualities and increase the positive qualities you see in others. R-OCD may also make it hard to enjoy intimacy with your partner. Your anxiety and obsessiveness will be a distraction during sexual intercourse.

Relationship OCD Causes

Up to now, healthcare providers don’t clearly understand what causes R-OCD. However, there are a set of factors that have been identified to play some role. The factors that can increase your chances of developing R-OCD include:

Changes in the levels of serotonin in your brain.
Sudden life changes, such as getting married or moving.
Trauma
A history of abuse
Difficulties in relationships.
Underlying OCD
A strong sense of responsibility for actions and thoughts.
Fear of abandonment.
Catastrophic thinking is characterized by a bias to dwell on negative thoughts or worst-case scenarios.

Other factors that can cause R-OCD include low self-esteem, past negative experiences, and an anxious attachment style.

Can R-OCD Be Treated?

If you suspect you might be suffering from R-OCD, the best thing to do is to talk to your healthcare provider about ways to manage the condition. When you wait until the condition gets severe, you may find it hard to establish a romantic relationship, leave alone sustain one.

R-OCD treatment may include medication or psychotherapy. Depending on your condition, your therapist may use a combination of the two treatment methods.

Medication: Some medications can reduce R-OCD symptoms. Some medicines are antidepressants, such as SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). SSRIs are perhaps the most effective medicines for OCD.
Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy using cognitive behavioral therapy or Eye Movement Desensitisation and reprocessing is another excellent way of dealing with R-OCD. Psychotherapy can help you deal with conditioFind Us Here!ns like the inability to maintain or start a stable relationship, poor social skills, not being assertive, and low self-esteem, among others. A good therapist should be able to design an effective treatment for you.

As you undergo treatment, you can incorporate coping techniques like involving your partner, maintaining honest and open communication between you and your doctor, and joining a support group.

Living with R-OCD

R-OCD can affect your relationship or prevent you from establishing one. That’s why it’s essential to deal with it immediately if you suspect you have the condition. Acting fast can save you the agony of broken relationships.

An experienced doctor or therapist should be able to diagnose your condition and prescribe the best treatment option. Your partner can be of great help in your treatment process. Remember that the therapist’s or doctor’s office is a neutral and safe place to open up and discuss your signs and symptoms. The more you open up, the faster your recovery will be.

R-OCC & CBT

Cognitive behavioural therapy is an effective treatment for relationship OCD. This type of therapy teaches you how to modify the negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to your condition. It also helps you develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Access CBT offer CBT treatment for all types of OCD issues both in person in the Liverpool branch or with online OCD Support

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